


Dumb is the new black

by sunshineandeyebrows



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Drinking, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Sleepy Cuddles, Some Swearing, a bit of angst, and mingyu, everyday struggles, everyone is dumb actually, honestly this exists just because one of my bros was talking about soft seoksoon a lot, im trash for meanie so here it goes, just tiny bit, seventeen ensemble - Freeform, soonyoung is dumb, students' problems, this is mainly 96' line, university life is hard kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-15 02:46:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14150253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandeyebrows/pseuds/sunshineandeyebrows
Summary: Soonyoung is oblivious, dumb and in denial. Seokmin just needs cuddles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be just fluffy, but it's me, so it's fluffy and angsty instead.  
> enjoy!

"Seokmin-ah," Soonyoung slurs, Seokmin's breath hot on his face. "Minnie, we should stop."

"Why?" Seokmin asks with a grin.

He's so cute. Soonyoung doesn't get it. How can someone so broad be so cute.

"M'really drunk," he explains eloquently.

"You need to puke?" Seokmin asks immediately with a concerned frown.

Soonyoung shakes his head and has to hold on to Seokmin's arms to steady himself. He giggles. The world spinning like that is kind of funny.

"Then it's fine, right?" Seokmin whines.

Soonyoung tries to look up at him properly. Seokmin seems to be more sober than him, but Soonyoung knows it's not true. His ears are completely red. Soonyoung nods, because it's more than fine. It's awesome.

"Hyung," Seokmin breathes, looking at him expectantly.

Soonyoung is so weak. He pulls Seokmin in by his neck. Seokmin makes a happy noise, his tongue back in Soonyoung's mouth, and it's dizzying. Soonyoung tangles his fingers in Seokmin's hair, weirdly aware of the wall he's leaning on. Seokmin smells of alcohol, but also something sweet, something that's just him, and Soonyoung feels overwhelmed. He groans, pressing up against Seokmin urgently. It's dangerous. Soonyoung is already too wound up, too desperate from the countless times they ended up here, by a wall, on a couch, on a countertop, in an empty alley behind a club. They've never done more, but it's a matter of time, Soonyoung thinks. At the next party they might be too drunk to stop themselves, to maintain that blurry line between close friends that make out sometimes and ex friends who can't look each other in the eye after hooking up.

Seokmin nibbles on his lip and moves down to his jaw and neck, when Soonyoung gasps.

"Hyung," he breathes into Soonyoung's skin, low and rumbling.

Soonyoung shivers. All he wants right now is to reach down into Seokmin's pants and make him feel good, and hear what Seokmin sounds like when he comes. He keeps his hands in Seokmin's hair, tugging. He can feel Seokmin's fingers slide down his sides and he's not sure, if he hates the shirt he put on because it's smooth and makes it easier, or if he absolutely loves it for letting Seokmin do that without problems. Seokmin bites his tendon, sucking on the skin, and Soonyoung moans shamelessly. His mind is hazy, but it still holds onto some remnants of common sense, which Seokmin clearly lacks right now.

"Seokmin-ah," Soonyoung mumbles, pulling his head up by the hair.

Seokmin hisses, but goes with him, searching his face in confusion. Soonyoung is hard by now and he knows Seokmin is, too, and they can't do this.

"Hyung?" Seokmin's voice is hoarse and it makes Soonyoung's stomach flip in excitement.

"That's enough," Soonyoung decides. "Let's stop here."

Seokmin whines in protest, but Soonyoung just kisses him quickly and manages not to trip during the short walk to the bathroom. He closes the door and slumps against it, trying to even out his breathing. There is quiet knocking and then a thump, and Soonyoung knows Seokmin just leaned his head on the other side of the wooden surface.

"Hyung, are you okay?" Soonyoung hears clearly despite the music still thumping through the house.

"I'm fine," he makes himself answer, throat suddenly closed up.

He feels bitter.

"Okay," Seokmin says and Soonyoung thinks he leaves.

"Okay," he tells himself, even though it's not okay at all.

He contemplates jerking off, but he already feels disgusted with himself enough. Besides, Junhui and Seungkwan are sleeping on each other in the bathtub, and it would just be wrong. Someone tries to open the door.

"Jun! You there? We need to talk, get out!"

Soonyoung sighs and opens, so that Minghao can storm in. He watches idly as Minghao grimaces when he spots the man in question in a weird position with their younger friend, completely passed out.

"What are you doing here?" Minghao asks Soonyoung, almost in accusation.

Soonyoung shrugs.

"I wanted to wash my face," he says whatever comes to mind first. "I'm going now, take care of them."

Minghao scoffs, but starts pulling Junhui out of the tub.

"What the hell happened?" Seungcheol asks him as soon as he appears in the kitchen. "Seokmin just left, and he didn't even smile when he was saying bye!"

Soonyoung shrugs again, his gut twisting painfully.

"He can take care of himself," he mutters, even though it's not necessarily true, but it's fine. He can also be guilty, if being bitter is not enough.

At first glance, Seokmin is the more reliable one out of the two of them. He seems more mature, more put together, all the grandmas in the neighborhood fawn over him and his skills. Soonyoung is also loved, but as the silly one, the funny one. In reality, it's not like that at all. Seokmin needs to be taken care of more often than not, and Soonyoung likes to take care of him, so it works perfectly.

Of course, it's not like Soonyoung doesn't fool around. They're dumb and dumber, as Wonwoo calls them. He doesn't care he gets punched by Soonyoung every time. Seokmin is the best at pulling stupid pranks on their friends with and at laughing at Soonyoung's poor jokes. Once, they coaxed Mingyu into jumping into the neighbor's pool and had so much fun when he got in trouble, until Seungcheol found out and they got in trouble themselves. It's Soonyoung who goes with Seokmin to the dentist, though. It's Soonyoung who makes sure Seokmin is properly hydrated when it's hot, and he always jumps around, hyper. It's Soonyoung who has to turn on his common sense when the situation is problematic in any sense of the word. Seokmin likes to have the attention. He likes when Soonyoung frets over him, even though he can be an actual adult, if it's needed. Sometimes, he's an adult when Soonyoung can't be, but that's fairly rare. Usually, it's just fun. Usually, they're dumb together. Usually, Soonyoung wonders what it would feel like to wake up with one of his best friends naked. Usually, Wonwoo judges him for being a pussy, but Wonwoo has feelings for someone who jumped into the neighbor's pool just because his friends told him to.

Soonyoung kind of wishes being hard was his biggest problem, but that's only a memory now. Seungcheol gives him a pitying look. Jeonghan clucks his tongue, looking completely done, and passes him a shot glass. Soonyoung's glad Wonwoo isn't anywhere near right now, because he could start crying, if he saw him.

It's not the best party Soonyoung has been to.

***

"You're trying to tell me you don't like him, when you make out with him at every party?"

Soonyoung makes an indignant noise. He's still bitter, it's definitely too soon to be talking about it.

"He just has this face! The fact that he's attractive doesn't mean I have to like him! We're friends!"

"And what does the fact that you're always an awkward potato the day after mean?" Wonwoo asks, not taking his eyes off of the book he has in his lap.

Soonyoung narrows his eyes.

"Shut up, Jeon Wonwoo, you're the last person that has the right to say anything to me. Besides, I was having a nice conversation with my favorite junior."

"Nice conversation my ass," says Wonwoo, rudely.

"And everyone knows I'm not your favorite, you can't shut up about Chan," Seungkwan rolls his eyes.

"I can't help it, he's just so cute!" Soonyoung whines.

"Who's fucking cute," Chan asks, looking up at him from his laptop.

Soonyoung gasps. Seungkwan covers his mouth in an overly dramatic gesture.

"What! Why am I the only one who can't swear?" Chan accuses, clearly feeling wronged. "Vernon-hyung swears all the time and he's only like, a week older than me!"

"You mean a year?" Wonwoo raises an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"That's still almost nothing," Chan decides, getting back to his game, already done with the unfairness.

"I tell Hansol off when he swears, too!" Seungkwan protests.

Chan puts on headphones. Wonwoo smirks. Soonyoung is kind of relieved the conversation drifted away from his and Seokmin's issues. Especially when they're not even issues for real. So what, if they like to make out when they're drunk? It's nice and they're like, best friends, and they're both okay with it. So what, if Soonyoung doesn't really know how to act around Seokmin the day after? He just can't be sure, if Seokmin didn't change his mind about their arrangement and wouldn't want to tell Soonyoung that when it's still fresh in his mind. So what, if Soonyoung can't stop thinking about Seokmin naked, when he's drunk? Seokmin is attractive and Soonyoung gets horny when he drinks.

"But seriously," Wonwoo says. "You're practically dating anyway. Don't you at least wanna get into his pants? Or maybe change the status of your relationship like an adult?"

Soonyoung stares at him with disgust. He should definitely change the status of his relationship with Wonwoo. He doesn't deserve the honored place as Soonyoung's best friend number one.

"Why do you even care?" he asks, annoyed.

"Because Seokmin deserves more than that," Wonwoo says lightly, batting his eyelashes.

Soonyoung gapes at him, affronted.

"And what about me?! Shouldn't you be more concerned with what I deserve?!"

Wonwoo shrugs and turns a page. Soonyoung scoffs. He can't believe that's what he gets for his troubles. He does too much for his as-of-now-ex best friend to be treated with such disrespect.

"Our friendship is cancelled, Jeon Wonwoo," he informs the other.

Wonwoo hums, unfazed. Soonyoung can't believe this.

"You're so dramatic," Seungkwan huffs with a flourishing wave and a grimace.

Soonyoung stares at him in disbelief. If Seungkwan says he's dramatic, it must be bad. It must be the worst. Soonyoung remembers how Seungkwan judged Mingyu for wearing two shades of blue once. He still doesn't know, if it was too much or too little.

"I'm gonna drop by Hansol's place," Seungkwan says before Soonyoung can react properly and start yelling. "See you around, hyung. Hopefully not with Seokminnie-hyung's tongue down your throat."

Soonyoung blinks at him.

"Yah!" he starts, outraged, but he's kind of speechless.

Wonwoo snorts into his book. Soonyoung slaps his arm, because Seungkwan is already too far to reach.

"What the hell, Kwon Soonyoung!" Wonwoo growls.

"I don't like any of you anymore! You're supposed to be supportive and shit, not judge me!" Soonyoung exclaims.

Seungkwan huffs, amused, and turns to wave at him mockingly.

"How can we support you, when you don't even support yourself?" he singsongs and it's really irritating.

"Weren't you supposed to be going, Boo Seungkwan?" Soonyoung hisses, narrowing his eyes in a warning.

Seungkwan smirks and leaves. Soonyoung is offended. Why is it that no one takes him seriously? If Wonwoo narrowed his eyes, Seungkwan would at least leave without grinning stupidly, Soonyoung is sure.

Wonwoo sighs and closes his book.

"You're so annoying," he complains and gets up to make them both cocoa.

"Ah, hyung, I want one, too!" Chan whines, and Wonwoo just goes to make another one, without the sigh Soonyoung was treated with.

"Why are all of my friends assholes," Soonyoung mutters, mostly to himself.

"You should think about what that says about you," Chan tells him cheerfully.

Wonwoo snickers. Soonyoung slaps him again.

***

"We shouldn't be doing this," Seokmin says happily.

His eyes are sparkling. Soonyoung grins and hits send. It was stupidly easy to get into Mingyu's room and leave a note on his laptop, but they were expecting that. What they didn't expect, was how easy it would be to hack into his account and send a message to Wonwoo.

"Someone has to help them out, they're completely hopeless," Soonyoung says, clucking his tongue. "We're doing a good thing!"

"Is it gonna work out, though?" Seokmin asks. "What if only one of them sees it in time?"

Soonyoung raises an eyebrow at him.

"That's exactly why we're gonna get Mingyu to come home right now."

"Oh!" Seokmin claps his hands with a delighted grin. "Awesome!"

So Soonyoung texts Mingyu to come back, because Seungkwan promised to give Soonyoung his game back, but something came up and he can't come, so they're waiting in front of the door.

"Where did you even get the key to their place?" Seokmin asks when they go out into the corridor.

Soonyoung snorts.

"Hansol made a copy for himself ages ago."

"Nice!" Seokmin exclaims.

Soonyoung agrees. The thing is, Mingyu won't care how Wonwoo got in to leave a note on his laptop, he will be too excited to think. Wonwoo usually doesn't reply to texts at all, so a message with only a place and 'can we talk?' is going to be more than enough to make him drag his ass there, even though he pretends not to care. It's a perfect plan. Soonyoung congratulates himself inwardly. They just need the two idiots to meet in the cafe they first saw each other in, and it will be over.

"Seriously, it's awesome that you thought of that place, I already forgot about it," Soonyoung tells Seokmin, because Seokmin deserves praise, too.

Jeonghan still doesn't let them forget the day Mingyu saw Wonwoo for the first time and spilled the whole coffee he just bought on himself. Wonwoo had no idea who he was, but couldn't stop laughing and it just went from there.

Seokmin smiles at him, pleased, and Soonyoung forgets what they're doing there for a moment. He shakes his head at himself. Seokmin just has this face, okay, it's completely natural to feel weird seeing it from up close.

"I'm here!" Mingyu pants, running across the hall towards them.

Soonyoung makes himself look away from Seokmin's strangely captivating face.

"Finally!" he huffs. "I can't believe Boo Seungkwan!"

"Hasn't he had that game for like, a year already?" Mingyu asks, opening the door. "Why did he tell you to come today?"

"Maybe he remembered suddenly or something," Soonyoung shrugs. "About the damn time."

Seokmin gives him a thumbs up behind Mingyu's back. Soonyoung decides to give Seungkwan that game for free, if the plan works. They both pile in after Mingyu and Soonyoung busies himself with searching through cabinets, while Seokmin tries for casual and chats with him idly. They both glance at the door to Mingyu's room from time to time. Soonyoung almost starts jumping around, he gets so impatient.

"Hey, guys," Mingyu says after a moment, walking out with a weird expression.

Soonyoung tries not to grin.

"Yeah?"

"Did you see Wonwoo-hyung around?" Mingyu asks, biting on his lip.

Soonyoung realizes he's trying not to grin, too. He lets himself for a small smile.

"No, why?" Seokmin says.

He's trying a bit too hard, but Mingyu doesn't notice. Soonyoung sends him a warning glance. Seokmin says sorry with his face. Soonyoung has no idea how he does that.

"No, it's nothing," Mingyu says quickly, awkward. Soonyoung's heart melts a bit. "Um, I actually have somewhere to be, do you need anything else?"

"What? How can you throw us out like that," Soonyoung whines, winking at Seokmin when Mingyu turns to put on shoes.

"Sorry, sorry," Mingyu says quickly. "I'll make you something good to eat next time."

"Sweet," Seokmin smiles at him and lets himself be pushed out into the corridor.

Soonyoung goes after them and holds Seokmin's hand when he wants to follow Mingyu out.

"You're not going?" Mingyu asks them in surprise.

"I just remembered something I wanted to tell Seokmin, go, you punk, you seemed to be in a hurry," Soonyoung shoos him away.

Mingyu grins at him.

"Sure thing, hyung, see you around!"

Seokmin blinks at him questioningly when Mingyu disappears. Soonyoung realizes he's still holding his hand and lets go reluctantly.

"We can't go after him right away, he's dumb, but not that dumb," he explains.

Seokmin is staring at his fingers, but nods quickly. Soonyoung wants to grab him again, so he does, this time the wrist, though.

"Now we can go."

Seokmin nods again, but he's not looking at him. Soonyoung bites his lip, unsure of what that means, but still, he pulls Seokmin outside. They run after Mingyu as fast and as stealthily as they can, and Soonyoung's out of breath by the time they reach the cafe and hide behind the corner. Mingyu has unnecessarily long legs.

They're right on time to hear the conversation Mingyu has with Wonwoo, though, so Soonyoung's not complaining.

Wonwoo must have been waiting for a minute or two already, but then again, Soonyoung knows his anxiety doesn't let him be late.

"So," Wonwoo says, straightening from where he has been leaning on the wall near entrance. "What did you want to talk about?"

Soonyoung sticks his head out to see them better, Seokmin's breath warm on the back of his neck, causing goosebumps.

Mingyu blinks in surprise.

"Me? I thought- that message you left-"

Wonwoo frowns at him in confusion.

"Message? You were the one who texted me-" suddenly his face clears and gets really scary.

Not that it works on Soonyoung at this point, but Seokmin shifts uneasily next to him.

"Those damn jerks," Wonwoo mutters, looking around.

Soonyoung manages to hide behind the wall just in time, heart in his throat. Okay, so it might work on him a little. Seokmin's eyes are incredibly wide, as he looks at Soonyoung. Soonyoung nods at him reassuringly and pats his shoulder. They're too close, he realizes suddenly. Seokmin's broad chest is pressed against his own, as they're breathing in each other's faces, and Soonyoung knows his heart is in his throat for slightly different reasons than a minute ago.

"I know they're somewhere here," Wonwoo says in the meantime, his voice full of that gravel that always makes Soonyoung think of the depths of hell. "I'm gonna find them and they'll see how nice it feels to-"

"Hyung," Mingyu interrupts.

Soonyoung thinks it might actually be less dangerous to peek again than to stay in this position with Lee Seokmin.

Mingyu's hand is currently squeezing Wonwoo's, as he looks at the older one with a shy smile. Wonwoo seems to be frozen. Soonyoung isn't all that surprised, majority of people would probably faint, if Kim Mingyu looked at them like that.

"Let me at least buy you coffee," Mingyu offers quietly. "Since we're already here."

Wonwoo stares at him for another moment, but Soonyoung can't see his face well.

"Okay," he hears, and the two walk into the cafe, hands still joined.

Soonyoung slumps against the wall and gives Seokmin his widest grin. Seokmin grins back, and then they're hugging and jumping around like crazy.

"Best plan ever," Seokmin declares happily.

"I hope they know it's a date now," Soonyoung threatens no one in particular and wiggles his eyebrows. "Want to get pizza? We need to celebrate!"

"Are you paying?" Seokmin asks.

Soonyoung snorts and slaps his arm.

"You ungrateful brat! Fine! Come on, let hyung treat you to pizza!"

Seokmin smiles at him, and he's pretty. Soonyoung shakes his head at himself and throws an arm around Seokmin's shoulders.

"I bet you're gonna eat a lot," he grumbles, as Seokmin laughs. "You owe me, okay?!"

"Why? I thought it was a treat!" Seokmin protests.

Soonyoung glances over at him and ruffles his hair to stop thinking about the way his heart swells with affection.

"Fine! Make me broke! We'll see on whose couch I'm gonna sleep when I can't afford rent!"

"Seriously, you're sometimes more dramatic than Seungkwan," Seokmin clucks his tongue and laughs at Soonyoung's shocked expression.

"Yah! Lee Seokmin! How dare you!"

They bicker until they reach their usual pizza place, and then some more as they wait for the food to be made.

"But really, do you think it's gonna work out?" Seokmin asks thoughtfully.

"Of course!" Soonyoung says decisively. "That was the best plan, after all. Mingyu must be tired of Wonwoo keeping a distance, too. It's gonna be fine."

Seokmin doesn't say anything about it anymore and the topic changes to their classes. The great thing about their pizza place is that it's open at night, too. What's not so great about that is that Soonyoung has no idea how much time passes, as they talk and laugh over food and cola. He gets a text from Wonwoo at one point, and only then does he realize it's already almost one in the morning.

**From: Wonu**

**You could at least let me know, if you're not coming back for the night, jerk.**

Soonyoung snorts.

"Who's a damn jerk now, huh," he mutters to himself.

"Wonwoo-hyung?" Seokmin guesses and checks his phone, too. "Oh wow, it's pretty late."

"Yeah," Soonyoung sighs and texts Wonwoo back that he'll be there in ten.

Seokmin stands up and waits for Soonyoung to pay. It's only May, but the weather is great already, and the air is nice and warm. They walk slowly back, not saying much. Soonyoung has the sudden urge to hold Seokmin's hand, but Seokmin would probably take it the wrong way, and besides, Soonyoung has already done that too much today.

"Let me know when you get home," he says when he's supposed to take a turn.

Seokmin waves at him and his smile seems strange. Soonyoung forces himself to move and not think about it.

He jumps in surprise when he gets home and Wonwoo is sitting on a chair in the dark hallway.

"It was you, wasn't it, Kwon Soonyoung," he growls.

Soonyoung clutches at his shirt.

"Are you fucking nuts?!" he yells, massaging his chest. "Do you want me to have a heart attack?!"

Wonwoo scoffs.

"As if," he mutters. "You're probably gonna outlive every single one of us. Anyway! It was you, right?"

Soonyoung slumps on the ground and takes off his shoes begrudgingly.

"So what, if it was," he mumbles.

He kind of wants to ask how it went, but he's still not sure, if Wonwoo's pissed or not.

"I told you not to care about my love life," Wonwoo grumbles.

His voice is just low and threatening, though, so Soonyoung sighs in relief. If Wonwoo was really angry, he wouldn't want to talk to him at all, or his voice would be freezing and indifferent at best.

"Someone has to," Soonyoung tells him, staying on the floor after freeing his feet.

Wonwoo shifts slightly and clears his throat. He doesn't answer. Soonyoung grins.

"So?" he asks excitedly.

"So what," Wonwoo mutters.

"Ah, seriously! I'm asking how it went, isn't that obvious!" Soonyoung exclaims, impatient.

Wonwoo huffs.

"Don't you know that already? Weren't you spying on me?"

"Who do you take me for!" Soonyoung accuses.

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow. Soonyoung lowers his head.

"I only saw the beginning," he admits quietly.

"Ha!" Wonwoo yells. "I knew it! You're seriously too much!"

"Whatever! Tell me how it went!"

Wonwoo is quiet for a moment. Then, a small smile stretches his lips. Soonyoung feels satisfied.

"Well," Wonwoo says slowly. "I guess I just went on a date with Kim Mingyu."

Soonyoung shouts in glee and jumps up to tackle him. Wonwoo only hits him once, but lets himself be smothered in a hug with a surprised laugh, so Soonyoung doesn't intend to hold a grudge.

"Did he buy you coffee? What did you talk about? Was it awkward? Did you kiss? Come on, talk!"

Wonwoo pushes him away and locks himself in the bathroom. Soonyoung waits for him in front of the door. At least Wonwoo gets as startled as he did when he came home.

"What the hell! You wanna die?" he shouts.

Soonyoung waves at him frantically.

"Tell me something! One thing! Did you kiss? It's a simple question! Yes or no?"

Wonwoo stares at him for a few seconds, unimpressed, and then passes him to get to his bed. Soonyoung is going to pop from the lack of response.

"Jeon Wonwoo!"

"Go to sleep!"

"Tell me!"

Wonwoo covers himself with his sheets until Soonyoung can't see his head anymore. Soonyoung whines.

"Yes," Wonwoo says. It's muffled, but clear. "Now go to sleep and leave me alone for a few damn hours, I need to process."

Soonyoung stuffs his mouth with his fist to contain the joyful shout and pumps the air victoriously.

"I can sense you hyping, Kwon Soonyoung, just calm the fuck down already," Wonwoo says.

Soonyoung pouts at his figure and then goes to brush his teeth. _It worked_ , he texts Seokmin, as he's lying down, still excited. _I told you it's the best plan ever_.

Seokmin replies with a long line of exclamation points. Soonyoung asks him, if he got home safely, and closes his eyes after getting a satisfying answer. At least one of his worries finally taken care of, Soonyoung sleeps. He dreams about broad chest and the scent of orange bubblegum.


	2. Chapter 2

"That's just outrageous," Seungkwan declares, gesturing at Wonwoo and Mingyu, who are sitting next to each other on the couch and talking to Seungcheol.

They're holding hands.

Soonyoung raises an eyebrow at Seungkwan.

"You only say that, 'coz you'd like to do the same with Vernon," he mutters.

Seungkwan turns to him, scandalized. Soonyoung grins and loses interest, ignoring the onslaught of protest in favor of watching other people at the party. It's a larger group than their usual one of thirteen, but that's obvious, because they're in Hyejin and Wheein's enormous apartment. Soonyoung remembers they live with two other girls, but he's only met them once and knows nothing except their names. One of them is incredibly pretty. He thinks it's Yongsun. She is currently opposite him, laughing with Jeonghan, and that's a very aesthetic scene. Soonyoung watches idly as Hyungwon and then Seokjin join them, and he feels satisfied just standing there and staring.

"You seem too sober."

Soonyoung glances to the side at Minhyuk.

"I don't know, if I wanna get drunk tonight," Soonyoung admits.

Minhyuk gapes. Soonyoung realizes Seungkwan left him a while ago.

"You?! Not getting drunk? Right," Minhyuk snorts and presses a bottle of cheap wine into Soonyoung's hand.

Soonyoung scowls, but drinks wordlessly.

"I should be over there," Minhyuk says, nodding at the aesthetic group on the other side of the living room.

Soonyoung can't even disagree, so he drinks some more.

"What are you still doing here, then?" he asks.

Minhyuk shrugs.

"You seem to be in a bad mood," he says.

Soonyoung clutches his heart with an exaggerated sigh.

"You're such a great friend, Lee Minhyuk," he declares.

"That's hyung for you, ungrateful brat," Minhyuk tells him sweetly and pushes the bottle to his mouth.

Soonyoung pouts, but lets Minhyuk get him drunk. Somewhere along the way, Jooheon joins them, and then Jackson and Namjoon, and then Soonyoung is sitting on a dresser with Seokmin between his legs. He has no idea how that happened, but it's not like he's going to complain.

Seokmin's mouth is on his neck, leaving bruises that Soonyoung shouldn't want to have, Seokmin's big hands are under his thighs, keeping him from falling down from the piece of furniture Soonyoung doesn't remember sitting on. Soonyoung's fingers are tangled in Seokmin's hair, probably clutching too hard. Soonyoung is too drunk and turned on to care about the pain he might be causing Seokmin. Seokmin himself doesn't seem to care, either. It's good, it's awesome, and Soonyoung remembers what is actually happening only when Seokmin's hands move from his legs to his crotch.

"Minnie," he breathes out, apologetic and stern at the same time.

Seokmin shakes his head and nibbles on Soonyoung's collarbone.

"Minnie, don't," Soonyoung says.

His voice cracks. He suddenly feels like crying. Seokmin nuzzles his neck with a small sound that kind of breaks Soonyoung's heart.

"I don't like it when you do that," he murmurs.

Soonyoung has to focus hard to understand the words.

"Do what?" he asks, sighing in relief and disappointment when Seokmin's fingers go back to supporting his knees.

"You only call me that when you want me to stop," Seokmin says.

He sounds hurt. Soonyoung feels hurt, but he supposes it's his own fault.

"Sorry," he whispers, cupping Seokmin's face to make him look up. "I'm sorry."

Seokmin's eyes are glistening in the poor lighting. Soonyoung kisses him, because he doesn't want to start crying. It's not anything they're used to, though. It's slow and loaded with too much feeling. Soonyoung's stomach flutters and he tries to convince himself it's because of the alcohol. It doesn't work.

It's loud suddenly and Soonyoung pulls away to see what's going on.

"Oh," Wheein says from the door and bites her lip with an awkward laugh. "I'm sorry guys, but you can't be in here."

For Soonyoung, it's the same feeling as when Seokmin backed away - relief and disappointment all at the same time.

"Sorry, sorry," he laughs, jumping down from the dresser and pulling Seokmin after himself. "We're going."

"Thanks!" Wheein says after them.

Soonyoung realizes he's still holding Seokmin's hand only when he's yanked back abruptly. He can't even react in any way before Seokmin presses him against a wall.

"Hyung," he growls and Soonyoung can feel his heart speed up in an instant.

It's equal parts from excitement and dread.

"Seokmin-ah," he says, slow and deliberate. "It's enough for now. I'm gonna go grab a drink."

Seokmin looks at him for another few seconds, his brows furrowed, but then he just kind of deflates and moves away.

Soonyoung wants to say something, comfort him, make everything okay, but he doesn't know how. He's bitter again, something blocking his throat almost painfully. He brushes his fingers down Seokmin's arm and tries not to cry when Seokmin avoids the touch.

Thankfully, Junhui appears right then and Soonyoung grabs him to drag him away immediately.

"Hey!" Junhui protests, but goes along with him. "What's going on?"

"I need a drink," Soonyoung mutters. "I need so much I won't be able to walk."

That's when Junhui finally regains control over his legs and makes them both stop.

"What you need is to man the hell up and use communication instead of alcohol," he says, judging Soonyoung with a raised eyebrow.

Soonyoung shakes his head stubbornly.

"If you don't want to drink with me, I'll find someone else."

"That would probably be the best for me," Junhui mutters.

Soonyoung waits.

"Ugh, fine! Let's get smashed," Junhui yells finally.

Soonyoung grins. Minhyuk materializes out of thin air when they're on their third shot. Soonyoung wouldn't expect any less. Hyejin joins them too, after a while, and she sure knows how to party. Soonyoung finds himself on the table sometime later, dancing his heart out. He feels so much better now, he won't let anyone spoil his fun and the way music pumps in his veins. There are hands on his waist all of a sudden and Soonyoung laughs, but lets whoever it is fit their hips together. Someone wolf whistles and Soonyoung looks down to see Taehyung throwing ripped tissues at them as a cheap substitute for confetti. It's Jimin then, the one dancing with him. He scans the room and everything sways a bit, but he recognizes a lot of people. Seungcheol is by the door talking to Hyunwoo and Jinyoung. Hyungwon is judging him with Jihoon, but they're always judging everyone, and it's not like Soonyoung cares. He can see Kihyun drinking with Yoongi and Junhui who's trying to convince Minghao to help him get Soonyoung down. Apart from Taehyung, Jooheon and Changkyun are also cheering him and Jimin on. Seungkwan looks like he wants to join but isn't sure, if it fits his image. If Soonyoung wasn't enjoying himself so much, he would tell him there is no image to uphold. 

Junhui finally succeeds at pulling him down and pours a shot down his throat to prevent any protest. Soonyoung feels too hot, and it's not the too hot he knows from when he's with Seokmin. It's the uncomfortable too hot from too many people in one place, from sweating and overheating. Junhui's hands are stubborn, though, they don't let him undress, and Soonyoung whines pathetically.

"Shut up," Junhui says and gives him a bottle. "Drink."

Soonyoung does. He's not sure what alcohol it is, but it doesn't matter at this point. He wakes up with his cheek pressed against a hard surface, drooling all over it.

"...should have taken him himself, if he got him to pass the fuck out."

It's Wonwoo. Soonyoung raises his head and that's a terrible idea, because his stomach turns dangerously.

"Hyung? You awake?"

Mingyu this time. It takes Soonyoung a good few seconds to understand what's going on, but he gets it eventually. He's on Mingyu's back. Outside. Mingyu is walking. Wonwoo is walking next to him.

"What the fuck, Kwon Soonyoung," Wonwoo says.

He's seriously pissed. Soonyoung is able to notice that despite his state, but maybe it's because he knows Wonwoo so well, it's automatic. Soonyoung hasn't seen him pissed like that in some time already. He guesses he is an inconvenience. Wonwoo probably wanted to have fun with Mingyu, and here they are, taking Soonyoung home. Probably. Soonyoung hopes that's where they're going.

"Sorry," he mumbles into Mingyu's back.

He is sorry. About a lot of things. Wonwoo must know, because he doesn't say anything, just huffs and pats Soonyoung's arm. Soonyoung feels a bit sick, but he drifts off again and opens his eyes when they're already in his and Wonwoo's apartment.

"Bathroom," he tells Mingyu urgently.

Mingyu lets him down and Soonyoung wobbles only a bit before he reaches the toilet and empties his stomach. The tiles are pleasantly cool and Soonyoung leans his forehead on them. He doesn't know how long he's there, but he's almost asleep by the time Wonwoo makes him sit up and drink water before dragging him to bed.

"M'sorry," he says again.

Wonwoo smacks him arm, pretty lightly.

"Just go to sleep, Soonyoung-ah," he mutters.

"Where's Mingu?" Soonyoung mumbles, eyes already closed.

"He went back to his place. I told him you owe him a beer."

"M'kay," Soonyoung agrees. "Thanks."

"Yeah," Wonwoo says, covering him with a blanket. "We'll talk tomorrow, sleep."

Soonyoung does.

***

"Kill me, please."

"Wow," Wonwoo drawls, poking Soonyoung's slumped back with a finger. "You're even being polite. Was it that horrible?"

Soonyoung nods and his head swims. He hasn't even sobered up completely yet and he's had at least twelve hours of sleep. He hates hangover.

Wonwoo passed him a bottle of water and painkillers as soon as he trudged into the kitchen, complaining about the world being too bright.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he mumbles into his folded hands.

"Yeah, right," Wonwoo snorts, because he knows Soonyoung is lying.

Soonyoung always wants to talk about it. He'd just rather not have to think about it at all in the first place.

"I screwed up so bad," he says. "Call Junhui."

Wonwoo makes the curious sound he always does, when he decides the situation is more serious than he anticipated and it can get interesting on someone else's expense. Usually Junhui's, because his life is miserable between Wonwoo's need for someone other than himself to suffer and Soonyoung's crazy ideas that he coaxes Junhui into more often than not.

"I'll call Jihoon, too," Wonwoo says, because he's an asshole.

Soonyoung doesn't have the strength to protest, though, so he just groans.

"So, what did you do now that we had to drag our asses here on a pretty okay Sunday," Jihoon grumbles half an hour later, sipping on the coffee made by Wonwoo.

There doesn't exist a good Sunday according to Jihoon. Only a pretty okay one. It's terrible for Soonyoung, though.

"I can't look Seokmin in the eye anymore. You have to help me think of a good plan to fake my death," Soonyoung says mournfully.

At least he showered. Wonwoo made him, but it was the right decision. He's miserable, but clean.

"I can take care of that really quickly and painfully," Jihoon offers immediately.

Soonyoung looks at him pitifully, but Jihoon doesn't care. Wonwoo is sitting with an amused smirk and watching them. Soonyoung flips him off, but Wonwoo's smile just widens.

"What happened?" Junhui sighs and Soonyoung sends him a grateful glance.

"We were making out," he starts the story.

"Mhm," says Junhui, already looking tired.

"I'm not sure how it happened, because I was drinking with Minhyukkie-hyung and then I wasn't," Soonyoung continues.

Jihoon rolls his eyes. Soonyoung ignores him.

"But we were making out and it was fun," he gets back on track.

"You always say that," Wonwoo points out. "But you're also always throwing a pity party at the same time."

Soonyoung glares.

"Because I'm the fucking worst and always bail," he grits through his teeth. "Because my stupid voice of reason pipes up before we get to the really good stuff."

All three of his friends sigh simultaneously.

"It's not because you're stupid-" Jihoon says patiently.

"Although you kinda are," Junhui cuts in.

"-it's because," Jihoon continues with emphasis, throwing Junhui a look. "Something is holding you back."

Soonyoung stares at him quizzically.

"Holding me back?" he repeats dumbly.

Wonwoo clucks his tongue.

"It's because you're a good guy, despite everything," he says, like it's obvious, like the answer has been right in front of Soonyoung's nose the whole time and everyone knows it except for him.

"I'm a good guy, period," he says, because he won't let Wonwoo insult him just like that.

Wonwoo opens his mouth, but Jihoon interjects quickly.

"Yes, you are, and that's exactly why you back out," he explains.

Soonyoung still doesn't get it.

"I don't get it," he says out loud and all three of his friends groan.

"This is so obvious, oh my God," Junhui exclaims impatiently. "Listen, your stupid voice of reason is smarter than you, you just have to-"

"Jun," Jihoon cuts in, throwing him a warning glance again. "That's enough. We shouldn't tell him more than that, he won't understand anywa-"

"Lee Jihoon," Wonwoo says suddenly and it's that voice that Soonyoung hates, the cold and hateful one.

Soonyoung and Junhui both flinch at the sudden change in atmosphere. Jihoon just frowns.

"Say one more word about how we shouldn't help Soonyoung and this is gonna be a slightly different conversation," Wonwoo drawls, faux casual, his eyes like daggers, and Soonyoung doesn't know, if he should feel honored right now, or interject before they start fighting for real.

Jihoon snorts.

"I was gonna say," he starts, voice strong and gaze locked with Wonwoo's. "that I don't think it's a good idea to talk to Soonyoung about something he should clearly figure out with Seokmin."

Wonwoo relaxes instantly, an easy grin on his face and Soonyoung deflates, too.

"In that case, you're absolutely right," Wonwoo says and turns to Soonyoung. "Talk to Seokmin and work things out. It should be fine."

"Jesus, I thought you're gonna fight," Junhui sighs, pressing a hand to his chest. "And I wouldn't even stop you, Jihoon could kill me or something."

Wonwoo scowls.

"Why is everyone scared of Jihoon and not me?"

Jihoon looks smug.

"Because the fact you have a resting bitch face doesn't mean you're scary," he says with a satisfied smile. 

Wonwoo huffs and gets up to make himself tea.

"You know nothing, Lee Jihoon," he mumbles on his way.

"You have Mingyu in puppy ears as the background on your phone," Junhui deadpans.

Soonyoung has never seen Wonwoo move as quickly as he does now, spinning around to look at Junhui and communicate that a horrible death is awaiting him.

"How the fuck do you know my password," Wonwoo demands, his voice a growl now.

He doesn't even deny it, but it's not like they would believe him.

Junhui shrugs.

"You showed me one time you were drunk and wanted me to check, if your text is grammatically correct."

Wonwoo's ears are perfectly red now. Jihoon is shaking with barely contained laughter, but he gives up soon and lets it all out. Soonyoung snickers, but then, Wonwoo did defend him rather spectacularly just now, so he stops himself quickly. Wonwoo seems speechless and leaves them immediately to lock himself in his room with a quick _I hate everyone_.

"Teenage angst is catching up to him," Junhui decides with a sly grin.

"It's been catching up his whole life," Jihoon says.

"You guys are assholes," Soonyoung says, just for the principle of things, but he's grinning stupidly, too.

Then, he remembers what even started this whole situation and gets a bit depressed again.

"Talk to him as soon as you can," Junhui says with a sudden serious expression. "You'll get everything then, really."

Soonyoung whines and nuzzles Jihoon's shoulder. He immediately gets pushed away.

"It's scary, though," he mumbles through Jihoon's small fingers pressed to his face to keep him upright.

"Ew," Jihoon says and lets him fall forward.

Soonyoung barely manages not to face plant into the table.

"Life is scary," Junhui says wisely, patting his back patronizingly. "The sooner you get used to how it sucks, the less disappointed you're gonna be."

"I don't wanna hear things like that from you," Soonyoung says, his face squished on the table he almost collided with. "You're usually way more optimistic than I am, it's depressing."

"That's just how the world works," Jihoon says. "Depression, anxiety and everything going wrong."

"Oh my God," says Junhui, looking at him in distaste. "It's not that bad, go away, grim reaper."

Jihoon just shrugs. Soonyoung thinks it would be nice, if Jihoon found someone to help him brighten up just a bit.

"Prove it," Jihoon deadpans.

Junhui throws up his hands in frustration.

"You're unbelievable," he exclaims. "You have us, you're healthy, you have a roof over your head. Isn't that enough?"

Jihoon shrugs again. Soonyoung makes a mental note to talk to Seungcheol as soon as possible and in the meantime, he guesses, he should confront Seokmin.

***

There is another party exactly three days later and Soonyoung wonders, if he can afford it to not give a fuck about his classes like that. He goes, though, because he hasn't even texted with Seokmin during those three days, not to mention actually talking. A part of him counts on them just getting drunk and making out like usual, but that would be running from the problem, and Kwon Soonyoung doesn't run away from anything.

Except sobriety, apparently. After more or less a few hours and amounts of rum he couldn't count, if he tried, Soonyoung opens his eyes to something dark and green. It takes an embarrassingly long time for him to understand it's a table. A garden, plastic one. He tries raising his head and the world kind of tilts to one side. Soonyoung grips the table to prevent falling off of the Earth, because it seems fairly possible right now. A glass appears in front of his face and he goes cross-eyed.

"Drink it, hyung," a voice Soonyoung knows too well says.

Panic surges through him in an instant, twisting his insides, and he needs a solid minute to settle them and not embarrass himself even more than he already has. He takes the glass and drinks slowly, desperately not looking anywhere in Seokmin's direction.

"Better?" Seokmin asks, when Soonyoung is done, and doesn't try to sit next to him.

Soonyoung nods, awkward despite the alcohol still very much present in his blood.

"Can we talk?" Seokmin tries and Soonyoung sees him shift slightly in the corner of his eye.

He must be uncomfortable. Soonyoung feels sick and it's not because he's drunk.

"Sure," he says. "I should probably be more sober for this, though, right?"

Seokmin sits in the only other chair on the balcony.

"Probably," he agrees, taking Soonyoung's hands to hold them.

The world is kind of blurry, but Seokmin's eyes are as warm and as brown as always. Soonyoung wants to claw at his chest.

"You're not drunk at all?" he asks, wondering, if Seokmin can even understand his slurred words.

Seokmin shrugs, staring at their hands. His has always been freakishly warm, Soonyoung thinks.

"Not really," Seokmin says and Soonyoung has to remind himself what they were even talking about.

He lets out a laugh, but it sounds bitter and flat even to his own ears.

"I must seem pretty pathetic then," he says.

He feels pathetic. And guilty, and ashamed, and just bad.

Seokmin looks up at him finally, his eyebrows doing this thing when they raise a little, attentive. His gaze is open and maybe just a bit regretful. Soonyoung grimaces.

"No, you don't," Seokmin says calmly. "You just seem drunk and also sad."

That's very true, Soonyoung admits. He is sad. He thinks doing something dumb with Seokmin would probably help, but it's not the right time for that. He thinks he should be feeling sad right now.

"We should talk tomorrow," he mumbles, a little desperate to postpone whatever Seokmin wants to tell him.

It feels like it's going to be something that Soonyoung will need a lot of time to get over.

"You're gonna hate the world tomorrow," Seokmin says, just a hint of a smile on his lips.

"I love the world!" Soonyoung protests immediately.

"Not when you're hungover," Seokmin huffs a small laugh.

Soonyoung's lungs are suddenly full of something soft but aching, and he can't breathe. Seokmin looks at him for what feels like four years, his eyes sparkling in the light from inside of the room.

"Can you stand? Let's go for a walk," he murmurs finally, too close and too much.

Soonyoung nods absently, mesmerized. There is nothing else he can really do but follow Seokmin back into the stuffy, smelly apartment and out, to the street.

They walk slowly through the city. The air is clearer than up on the balcony, a light breeze cooling on Soonyoung's heated skin. Seokmin doesn't say anything for a long time and Soonyoung can feel himself sobering up.

"You know, hyung," Seokmin speaks finally. Soonyoung gulps, too nervous to look up at him. "You're really dumb."

Soonyoung snaps up his head, vision swimming just a bit. Seokmin pulls him across the street and into a park. His hand is still ridiculously warm around Soonyoung's fingers.

"How am I dumb!" Soonyoung demands in a huff.

"Well," Seokmin says. He's smiling slightly. "You have no idea about your own feelings, so I say you're dumb."

"My own feelings?" Soonyoung repeats and it indeed sounds pretty dumb.

Seokmin stops walking suddenly and Soonyoung is faced with his shining eyes that seem too dark.

"You like me," Seokmin tells him in a deliberate way that's usually reserved for speaking to children. "You don't want to have sex with me when we're drunk, because you like me, and you don't want to mess things up between us."

Soonyoung blinks at him incredulously.

"What."

Maybe he's still too drunk, or maybe someone drugged his rum, but he can't for the life of him wrap his head around what Seokmin just said.

Seokmin is grinning now, his eyes disappearing in it completely.

"That's why I said you're dumb," he states, like it's even an acceptable explanation. "I wanna kiss you while I'm sober."

"But," Soonyoung protests haltingly. "We're friends. It's not how we work. I mean, what."

"We are friends," Seokmin nods solemnly. "But we can be a lot of things at once, can't we?"

Soonyoung thinks about that for a moment.

"Huh," he says. "I guess we can."

Seokmin smiles even more widely. Soonyoung didn't think it was possible.

"So," he starts, trying to figure it all out. "I like you? Like-like you. And that's why I always held back? Because we were drunk and I didn't want us to regret things. Because we can do those things sober. And with feelings. Because we both have them. Feelings, I mean. Right?"

Seokmin might be laughing at him by now, but he indulges him like he always does.

"Right. I like-like you, too. For the record."

"That's," Soonyoung mutters. "Awesome. I guess. I need some time to process, probably."

Seokmin nods again and then starts running without a warning. Soonyoung stumbles after him, but quickly finds his balance. Seokmin's laugh rings in his ears, adrenaline pumps in his blood, and Soonyoung thinks briefly they probably shouldn't be so loud so late into the night. He forgets about it the next second, breath coming short, as the world gets blurred around them. Seokmin slows to a stop and sits Soonyoung down on a bench, walking off somewhere. Soonyoung doesn't worry, though. Seokmin wouldn't just leave, not after a conversation like the one they just had, not when he knows Soonyoung is still more drunk than sober and probably needs to be taken home.

"Here," Seokmin passes him a can five minutes later.

Soonyoung accepts it, wondering if his stomach can handle soda.

"You're so nice," he mumbles, leaning back against the bench to look at the sky.

It's covered by heavy clouds promising rain to relieve the stuffiness in the air. Soonyoung wishes it was clear.

Seokmin laughs quietly and reaches out to lace their fingers together.

"That's true," he agrees readily. "No wonder you like me."

"I'm still half convinced I'm lying on that table and this is just a drunken dream," Soonyoung says and lets go of Seokmin's hand to open the can. Seokmin makes a small noise of protest and Soonyoung rolls his eyes, but gives him back his hand.

"You're not that drunk," Seokmin says.

Soonyoung sighs, leaning his head on Seokmin's shoulder. He feels calm, peaceful. He's perfectly aware that it's not going to last until the next day, because once hangover catches up to him, this will make a lot less sense.

"You wanna go back?" Seokmin asks, his long fingers dipping into Soonyoung's hair.

"Not really," Soonyoung mumbles. "But if we stay here, I might fall asleep."

"I can carry you?" Seokmin suggests and Soonyoung doesn't get how someone can be this nice.

"Why do you like me?" he slurs into Seokmin's shoulder when he's already sitting securely on his back. "I'm not a good person like you."

"You are, though," Seokmin protests, walking slowly through the park. "You didn't want to sleep with me because you're a good person."

His words seem to be swimming in the quiet air. Soonyoung's eyes droop.

"I did wanna sleep with you, though."

He thinks Seokmin snorts, but isn't so sure about it. Seokmin's body is warm and comfortable, his nice hands splayed safely under Soonyoung's thighs.


	3. Chapter 3

Soonyoung wakes up with the worst hangover he's had in his entire life.

"I'm assuming you're not planning to go to class?" Wonwoo asks, too close and too loud, asshole.

Soonyoung groans and hides under his covers.

"I made coffee," Wonwoo says next, in acceptable volume.

Soonyoung confesses his love into the pillow, but Wonwoo must catch it, because he laughs with a dismissive _yeah, yeah_.

"Did you have a proper talk?" he asks about ninety seven years later, when Soonyoung finally leaves the safe and awesome world of his bed to get to the beverage of gods.

Soonyoung nods and stops short, the events of previous night slamming into him so violently, he chokes on the coffee. Wonwoo pats his back, a bit patronizing, a lot more understanding.

"I'll take that as a yes," he says with a smirk.

"I," Soonyoung coughs. "He, I mean, we talked, yes."

Wonwoo quirks an eyebrow.

"Wow, eloquent."

Soonyoung would smack his arm, if he wasn't going through a mental breakdown.

"Shut up," he whines, hiding in his hands. "He told me I like him. How would he even know that?! What if I don't like him and we're just gonna think that until everything fucks up? What if he's wrong and I don't want to kiss him sober? He'd be so hurt and I can't be subtle, what if I-"

"Kwon Soonyoung," Wonwoo interrupts, clearly amused.

Soonyoung doesn't see anything amusing here.

"No offence, but everyone knows you like him except for you. You're just a bit dense, you won't fuck anything up."

Soonyoung opens his mouth to protest, but Wonwoo doesn't let him say a word.

"Just let yourself fucking try for once," he suggests, suddenly all serious. "It's like when you dance. It's new and then it's not, and then you love it."

Soonyoung tries to push coherent thoughts through his pounding headache.

"What if I don't love it?" he asks quietly.

Wonwoo sighs.

"Then you'll do what's right and we'll get completely smashed, and watch Bridget Jones. We might also need to stop Jihoon from murdering both you and Seokmin, because he won't be able to pick a side. And then, Jeonghan will take you shopping."

Soonyoung takes a deep breath. It sounds familiar and comforting, but that's because it has already happened a few times Soonyoung doesn't want to think about. It's always new until it isn't. It's always scary, until he's in too deep and suddenly everything around him breaks.

"I know," Wonwoo mutters, calming. "But it's also never been like this. You've never been like this."

And it's never been Seokmin. It somehow makes everything that much less terrifying. Soonyoung would never admit it to anyone, but he trusts Wonwoo with his life, and this doesn't even have to be that dramatic. He'll live, even if Wonwoo is wrong about this.

"Okay," he mumbles.

He's going to be fine. Seokmin is going to be fine. And they can kiss now without getting awfully drunk, Soonyoung thinks.

Wonwoo grins at him.

"What else did he say?"

So Soonyoung ends up repeating everything he can remember. And repeating it once more, because Junhui and Minghao come by for whatever reason. And again, when Jeonghan calls to ask excitedly how it went, because he apparently saw Soonyoung leave with Seokmin last night. And again, until their whole group knows what happened. Soonyoung is tired and pissed off by the end of the day, but Mingyu stays at their place and makes ramen, and Soonyoung hates the world a bit less.

"I'm gonna stay at Junhui's then," he says, massaging his temples, after the fourth time Mingyu looks at Wonwoo in a way Soonyoung would like to bleach his brain for witnessing. "Don't get too wild, kids, you've been dating for two weeks."

"Don't tell me how to live, you're not my mother," Wonwoo says, not fazed at all. "I'll get as wild as I want."

Mingyu's ears could very well be on fire. Soonyoung sends him a shit eating grin and leaves. His headache subsides a bit, as he reaches Junhui's apartment. He has to knock for at least a minute, before Junhui's bedhead appears in the door.

"Are you really here, or is it a nightmare?" he mumbles, squinting. "We saw each other like, two hours ago."

Soonyoung grimaces.

"I couldn't help it, Mingyu and Wonwoo were all over each other."

Junhui grimaces, too, and lets him in. He leaves Soonyoung to his own devices, as he trudges back to his bedroom. Soonyoung follows him and wriggles in between him and Minghao, ignoring the grumbling and the knee to the stomach.

"Have you at least talked to Seokmin yet?" Minghao mutters, voice hoarse.

Soonyoung doesn't answer.

"Seriously," Minghao judges. "He's gonna be stressed, if you don't clarify what you want, while you're sober."

"I just need to get rid of the hangover," Soonyoung says defensively, clinging to his side.

"Chicken," Junhui says from behind him.

Soonyoung attempts to kick his shin and accidentally knees Minghao's thigh instead. They tousle for a moment, until Soonyoung is tucked comfortably under Junhui's arm, face smashed into Minghao's chest.

They don't say anything else, but they don't have to for Soonyoung to feel just a bit guilty and uneasy. Minghao is good at planting doubt with just a few words.

***

"So," Soonyoung says, armed with two lattes.

"So?" Seokmin repeats, eyebrows raised in confusion.

They're standing opposite each other in the middle of a corridor. Soonyoung thinks he saw a scene like that in an anime once. Other students pass by them, some throwing curious glances, most completely uninterested.

"I bought coffee," Soonyoung says.

Seokmin's eyebrows almost reach his hairline.

"I can see that," he says with a small smile.

Soonyoung's heart is beating like crazy and he knows it's fair for Seokmin to not make it easier for him. After all, he didn't exactly make it easy for Seokmin either.

"You have a break now, right?" he tries.

"Right," Seokmin's smile grows.

"Then drink coffee with me outside. It's nice and warm, and I know you would probably just go to the library, if not for my rescue," Soonyoung says, calmer.

He doesn't knows why he was nervous. This is Seokmin.

"Okay," Seokmin agrees, eyes disappearing in his grin. "But I want pancakes, too."

Soonyoung huffs dramatically.

"You're gonna make me broke! And how can you eat sweet stuff for lunch so often? You should try meat!"

"And if I pay for the pancakes?" Seokmin asks.

His eyes are sparkling. Soonyoung reaches out a hand.

"Lead the way."

Seokmin giggles and laces their fingers, and they both ignore every weird glance thrown their way.

"So I've been thinking," Soonyoung starts, sipping on his latte.

"For five days," Seokmin interrupts, but he's not angry.

"Don't judge me," Soonyoung scolds, squeezing his hand. "Anyway, I've been thinking and I have reached the conclusion that I indeed want to kiss you sober."

"That conclusion pleases me greatly, then," Seokmin nods faux seriously.

Soonyoung nudges him, but an easy grin works its way to his face.

Nothing really changes. They bicker over pancakes like they usually do, they talk about all their friends and how nice it would be to make Mingyu do something stupid again. They part in front of the studio where Soonyoung's practices are. Soonyoung kind of wants to at least kiss Seokmin's cheek, but there is a lot of people, so he has to settle for a hug. Seokmin laughs at his pout.

"Let's go for a walk in the evening," he suggests.

Soonyoung agrees enthusiastically and proceeds to burn all his extra energy in his dance practice. He gets back to the dorm in higher spirits than he's been in for a month.

"I'm so glad you're happy," Wonwoo mutters flatly when Soonyoung starts to tell him what happened.

Soonyoung frowns.

"You were happy too, the last time I saw you," he says and has to grab both of Wonwoo's arms to keep him by the table. "What the hell happened, Jeon Wonwoo."

Wonwoo sighs and drops his head on the table with a pretty satisfying thump.

"That giant, dumb Labrador," he mumbles, slightly pissed and a lot more tired.

"You had a fight?" Soonyoung exclaims in surprise.

"He just can't understand I have a lot of shit to do and if I forget to eat lunch, it's not a big fucking deal," Wonwoo rumbles.

Soonyoung feels a very familiar anger he thought he'd seen the last of during the previous exam period.

"Jeon Wonwoo, look at me right fucking now," he says sternly.

Wonwoo raises his head, glaring at him.

"Dammit, Kwon Soonyoung, not you too," he grits through his teeth.

Soonyoung frowns.

"You wanna fight me, too? Fine. We can fight. Because I fucking told you the last time you had a lot of shit to do that you can't forget about your basic needs. Mingyu's right and I'm glad there is another person who nags you about eating properly."

"I'm fine," Wonwoo interrupts, voice a lot lower. "I'll be fine once I'm done with this assignment."

"Jesus Christ, Wonwoo, you're supposed to study to be smarter to improve your life, not to ruin yourself!" Soonyoung yells.

Wonwoo scoffs.

"I'm not ruining myself," he mumbles, which is still a huge improvement to what Soonyoung heard the last time they had this conversation.

"You will, if you continue being this fucking stubborn about it! Just let Mingyu take care of you when you forget to do that yourself! Is it that hard?"

"It's not his responsibility to take care of me," Wonwoo huffs and Soonyoung suddenly understands the real problem.

"You don't want to open up to him," he says incredulously.

Wonwoo's eyes widen.

"What? No, I didn't mean it like that!"

"Yes, you did!" Soonyoung accuses. "You don't want to admit to him that you have weaknesses! Oh my God, Wonwoo, he knows you have weaknesses! You've known each other for four years now!"

Wonwoo opens his mouth to protest, but no words come out. Soonyoung's chest swells a bit with pride, because he did just win and also made Wonwoo admit to himself what could help him and Mingyu make up.

"He doesn't have to babysit me, Soonyoung-ah," Wonwoo says finally. "He has his own stuff to take care of and I'm older than him, why would he-"

Soonyoung groans.

"You need to let go of that damn unnecessary pride of yours! I know it's weird to suddenly consider someone else in your life to that extent, but just stop thinking and let him feed you! Have you even considered he wants to take care of you? And you're only a year older, don't fucking exaggerate!"

Wonwoo stares at him with what Soonyoung likes to call The Pout of Darkness™, but doesn't protest anymore.

"Fine," he grumbles after a moment of loaded silence.

Soonyoung cheers and slaps his arm excitedly.

"I should have done psychology," he says, standing up to search through their fridge. "I'm too good to waste myself in the hopeless field of choreography."

"Bullshit," Wonwoo says. "You suck at analyzing people."

"What! I just analyzed you perfectly!"

"Because you know me too well," Wonwoo snorts. "If we ever stop talking to each other, I'm gonna have to kill you, so that you don't spill my secrets."

"You wouldn't kill me, you're a softy," Soonyoung dismisses.

"That's exactly the secrets I'm talking about," Wonwoo says. "I could hire Jihoon, though."

"Oh please, Jihoon loves me."

"We'll see," Wonwoo mutters ominously. "So you have a date in the evening?"

Soonyoung reemerges from the fridge with a yoghurt and an orange. He actually haven't thought about it as a date, but it's really what it is, isn't it? 

"I guess," he mumbles.

"Stop grinning like an idiot," Wonwoo grimaces and stands up, throwing his empty plate into the sink. "It's annoying."

"I had to suffer, too, when you and Mingyu started," Soonyoung shows him his tongue.

"You didn't have to, it just took you a long time to notice you and Seokmin could have been together, too. Besides," Wonwoo stops in the door and smirks at him. "It was you who got us together in the first place, wasn't it. So it's your own fault."

Soonyoung beams at him, ignoring the first part completely.

"I'm a damn good friend," he decides.

Wonwoo huffs a laugh and leaves.

"Talk to Labrador!" Soonyoung yells after him.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Wonwoo yells back.

Soonyoung eats his yoghurt, wondering what he should wear in the evening. Sure, Seokmin has seen him at his very worst, but it doesn't mean he can't make effort to look cute once in a while. He's not actually sure what dating between friends should look like, but he guesses they'll figure it out on the go.

"Oh my God," Seokmin says as soon as he sees him, giving him a once-over.

"What?" Soonyoung looks down at himself.

"Well, you do live with Wonwoo-hyung," Seokmin sighs.

Soonyoung glares at him.

"I thought this was cute," he mutters.

Seokmin gives him a shit eating grin.

"It is," he agrees. "In its own way."

Soonyoung doesn't let him hold his hand for that. Of course, Seokmin whines and showers him with compliments for so long, Soonyoung finally gives in. He still doesn't know what's wrong with his clothes, though.

"You put on a yellow shirt to pink shorts," Seokmin explains. "If your face didn't make up for that, I wouldn't be able to look at you."

Soonyoung scoffs, but is too pleased about the backhanded compliment to care about his clothes anymore. Seokmin lets go of his hand to make a dramatic gesture with both of his own.

"We're here," he says theatrically.

Soonyoung rolls his eyes, but can't say he's not happy that Seokmin brought him to an ice cream booth of all places. They walk around after buying the ice cream, find a very friendly dog with a bit less friendly owner, find a baby, make it cry, and then Seokmin makes faces at Soonyoung and Soonyoung laughs so much, he walks into a lamppost. Seokmin chuckles at him the whole way to the park.

"I missed this," Soonyoung says, pressing a can of soda to his nose. "Sorry I've been an idiot."

"It's okay," Seokmin shrugs with a small smile. "It's not like I'd been expecting much else."

Soonyoung punches his arm, but he can't stop the grin stretching his face.

"How is Harold?" he asks, playing with Seokmin's fingers.

"Alive," Seokmin says. "Mingyu makes sure it doesn't dry up. I still don't know why Jeonghanie-hyung gave me a plant of all things, though."

Soonyoung thinks it's probably because he got it from Seungcheol and couldn't be bothered to look after it himself. Seokmin can't refuse for his life and besides, Soonyoung isn't surprised he's the one who got it at all, he seems to be someone who keeps everything around him alive. Soonyoung doesn't tell him that, though, because it would be awfully cheesy and he cringes at the mere thought.

"You're good with plants," he says only. "And you live with Mingyu who’s good with everything."

Seokmin makes half a shrug half a nod. He certainly can't deny that.

They spend the evening talking about the universe and trying to find squirrels in the park. Soonyoung climbs on a tree and Seokmin ends up amortizing him when he falls down. Soonyoung can barely ask him, if he's okay, because he's laughing too much, and Seokmin complains about his butt hurting the whole way back to the dorms.

"I'll buy you something nice, stop whining," Soonyoung says when they stop in the middle of the campus, from where it's about the same distance to both of their rooms.

Seokmin agrees with a pout and Soonyoung thinks he's too cute.

"God, you're adorable," he mumbles, leaving a quick kiss on Seokmin's cheek.

Seokmin beams at him, his face pink.

"How dare you be cuter than me," Soonyoung accuses.

Seokmin just shrugs, still smiling. It's dangerous. He could probably get everyone to be on his side with just one grin like this.

Soonyoung pulls him closer to the science building they're in front of, behind one of the corners, and lets Seokmin's slim fingers close around his hips. He can feel the familiar squeeze in his chest, but now he knows what it actually is. It's a bit strange for his breath to hitch when Seokmin's chest presses against his own, but without the urge to flee. Soonyoung looks into Seokmin's pretty chocolate eyes and has to remind himself it's okay to feel attracted to that face.

Seokmin is smiling, but it's soft now, so close, Soonyoung's nose can easily pick up the orange bubblegum and pines in Seokmin's scent. Soonyoung's heart is throbbing, as he reaches up to smooth Seokmin's cheeks with his thumbs. Seokmin leans into the touch, eyes shining, and Soonyoung almost whines just from feeling so much at once alone.

"Hyung," Seokmin almost whispers, getting even closer, radiating warmth.

Soonyoung's heart trips over itself and his throat is suddenly dry. He opens his mouth, but doesn't say anything, pulling Seokmin towards himself. It's not their first kiss, but it feels like it, with butterflies going wild in the pit of Soonyoung's stomach, with that weird, exhilarating feeling Soonyoung gets at the realization he doesn't have to back out, because they're not drunk and they're not just friends anymore.

Seokmin whimpers into his mouth, lips slow and gentle on Soonyoung's own, and Soonyoung deepens the kiss immediately, arms circling Seokmin's neck to get him even closer. It's fun, kissing Seokmin. It feels good and Soonyoung wants to keep doing it forever, but he can hear someone coming closer to their location, and that could end badly.

So he pulls away, laughing at Seokmin's dazed expression, and fixes his hair a bit, grabbing his hand to drag him back to the front of the building. Seokmin's lips are red and swollen, and Soonyoung's sure his own don't look any better, but it's still funny to see Seokmin so disheveled.

"You have a shit ton of homework to do, don't you?" Soonyoung asks, reluctantly taking half a step back, because they're still too close for a public path.

Seokmin had complained for half an hour about his classes earlier and he's not a bad student like Soonyoung, he likes to complete all of his assignments.

"Yeah," Seokmin admits, disgruntled. He grins suddenly. "I can leave it, though."

"And then Mingyu will get Wonwoo to get Sengcheol and Jeonghan to make my life even more miserable because I'm a bad influence," Soonyoung predicts smoothly.

Seokmin pouts and Soonyoung wants to squish his cheeks so bad.

"Fine, I'll do my homework," Seokmin grumbles.

"Good! You can come by when you're done," Soonyoung offers cheerfully.

He's not prepared for the way Seokmin looks at him with eyes dark and serious. He's not prepared for how it makes his stomach flip, either.

"Wonwoo's home," he reminds both of them reluctantly. "We can play a game, though."

"Oh," Seokmin says quickly, and he's flustered, eyes wide and face red. "Right. I mean, that's not what I-" he stops once he understands Soonyoung is laughing at him.

"I had no idea you're so eager," Soonyoung teases, sniggering.

"Shut up," Seokmin mumbles, the redness of his face spreading to his ears.

He's the most adorable creature Soonyoung has ever seen. And he's seen himself.

"You were the one who wanted to make out behind the science building!" Seokmin protests.

"That's true," Soonyoung can't stop cackling.

"I'm leaving!" Seokmin says, turning around to stomp away.

Soonyoung waits him out and it's only four steps before Seokmin looks at him over his shoulder. Once he sees Soonyoung grinning at him without moving a muscle, he huffs and continues with his angry walk. His face looks like a tomato, which Soonyoung points out to him over a text as soon as Seokmin disappears into his dorm building.

**From: Minnie <3**

**im not coming over >:(**

**To: Minnie <3**

**sure, im buying snacks tho**

Soonyoung can't stop grinning like a dumbass to himself as he waits for the reply. He reaches his room and takes off his shoes before his phone vibrates.

**From: Minnie <3**

**buy popcorn~**

Soonyoung snorts to himself and proceeds to search through their kitchen drawers, because he knows he's going to buy too much stuff to carry and he thought he saw a shopping bag somewhere around here.

"Stop being so happy, it's annoying and probably bad for my health," Wonwoo grumbles, joining him in the kitchen, already in his pajamas.

"Fighting with the Labrador is bad for your health," Soonyoung shoots back immediately. "Did you talk to him?"

Wonwoo rolls his eyes and turns on the kettle.

"Yes, oh my God, leave me alone."

Soonyoung stops looking for the bag to give him his undivided attention.

"What did you say to him?" he asks curiously.

Wonwoo gives him a deadpan look and it turns into a staring contest. Soonyoung wins, because he has mastered the art of manipulating people with his gaze alone since he was six and realized crying won't get him even half of the things he wants.

"I said sorry," Wonwoo mutters reluctantly. "And that I tend to get a bit irritable during projects. And that I'll be fine, if he doesn't take care of me, but he can, if he wants to so bad."

"I'm proud of you, bro," Soonyoung says with feeling, pressing a hand to his chest for more dramatic effect.

Wonwoo scoffs and nudges his shoulder with his own, but he's smiling, so Soonyoung doesn't even get back at him for that.

"It's good that you had a nice date, but leave me alone with that enthusiasm, I still have a fuck ton to do," Wonwoo sighs, and he sounds tired, so Soonyoung doesn't tease him more.

"Go to sleep sometime tonight," Soonyoung says. "Or you won't get rid of me for the next week."

Wonwoo groans long-sufferingly.

"Fine," he grunts, taking his tea and leaving, but not without showing Soonyoung his tongue.

"I'm telling Mingyu how mature you are!" Soonyoung yells after him.

"Too late, I already humiliated myself in front of him ten times since we started!" Wonwoo yells back.

Not that he had never humiliated himself in front of Mingyu before they started. Soonyoung grins to himself. He's happy.

"The bag is in the snack drawer!" Wonwoo shouts then and Soonyoung remembers he put it there himself.

"What would I do without you, my man!" Soonyoung yells theatrically.

He hears Wonwoo huff incredulously all the way from where he's undoubtedly in his bed already, with his laptop and buried in books.

***

Soonyoung is about to stop exchanging memes with Hansol and finally go to sleep when his phone scares him by vibrating in his hands.

**From: Minnie <3**

**r u asleep already?**

Soonyoung doesn't even get to think what he should answer with, because another text follows right after.

**From: Minnie <3**

**nvm goodnight**

Soonyoung frowns. There is no emoticon, which means something isn't right. Besides, Seokmin always knows when Soonyoung goes to sleep, because Soonyoung sends him a goodnight text every night, even if Seokmin's already sleeping. Firstly, for the obvious benefit of teasing Seokmin who feels bad in the morning that he didn't answer, secondly, it's a sure way to start a conversation as soon as they both wake up.

**To: Minnie <3**

**im awake what's up?**

Soonyoung has to wait two unnerving minutes for Seokmin to text back.

**From: Minnie <3**

**it's nothin i just can't fall asleep**

**From: Minnie <3**

**i'll be fine tho go to sleep you're prolly tired**

Soonyoung frowns even more. It's typical for Seokmin to back out of whatever he was saying, if he gets some weird idea stuck in his head, like for example that the other person doesn't care or has more important things to do than talk to him at the moment. Soonyoung has been trying to cure that bad habit, but it's been pretty tough so far.

**To: Minnie <3**

**tell me what's wrong**

It's another six minutes and Soonyoung is in the process of putting his sweats back on when his phone vibrates again. He almost sprains his neck to get to it quickly.

**From: Minnie <3**

**just don't feel so good being alone 2nite? it's better already tho, srsly im fine**

Soonyoung puts on a hoodie. Mingyu and Wonwoo came up with something as crazy as a weekend trip. Well, it was actually Mingyu's idea. Wonwoo had been pretty stressed about visiting Mingyu's family right up until Soonyoung pushed him out of the room, yelling at him not to be a baby.

**To: Minnie <3**

**im coming over**

He doesn't check what Seokmin texts next, stuffing the phone into his pocket and grabbing his keys, and the first few packets of chips and ramen he finds in the cabinets.

The world is on Soonyoung's side tonight, because Jonghyun is the one behind the desk at the front door of Seokmin's dorm building.

"You should be sleeping while you can," he says with a huge, warm smile. "It gets harder the older you are."

"You say that like you're at least fifty," Soonyoung rolls his eyes, but he can't help grinning back.

Jonghyun shrugs and lets him in. Soonyoung leaves him one bag of chips as a thanks.

Seokmin opens the door right away, which means he's called at least twice and has been probably waiting for Soonyoung all restless.

"Hyung," he whines and Soonyoung doesn't ask what he was about to ask, because gathering Seokmin in his arms seems sixty nine times more important.

Seokmin folds into him like he's not the bigger one out of the two of them. Soonyoung doesn't know what's going on, but he still feels shitty that Seokmin feels shitty.

"You didn't have to come," Seokmin mumbles, his voice breaking just a bit.

Soonyoung is even more alarmed, Seokmin's voice rarely ever gets weak.

"I did," Soonyoung says firmly. He pulls Seokmin to his bed, sitting himself with his back against the wall. "Come here," he says.

Seokmin looks uncertain and Soonyoung clucks his tongue, making him lie down with head in his lap. He can't exactly see Seokmin's face, just one side of it, but he doesn't have to to see how miserable Seokmin looks.

Soonyoung dips fingers into his hair with a sigh.

"Tell me what's wrong, Minnie," he asks calmly.

Seokmin is shaking. Just a bit, but Soonyoung can feel it, and it squeezes his chest in a sharp ache.

"I just," Seokmin says and takes a rushed breath. "I talked to my mom."

"Okay," Soonyoung says soothingly.

Seokmin reaches out to grab one of his hands and hold it tightly in his own in front of his face, as if having something particular to look at helps him gather his thoughts.

"What if I," Seokmin starts again, and Soonyoung can guess where this is going, and he doesn't like it one bit. Seokmin beginning with what if is never a good thing. "What if I don't pass? She's gonna be so," Seokmin cuts himself off, his breath coming short and damp. Soonyoung doesn't rush him. "She's gonna be so d-disappointed and I, I feel so bad, hyung, I just wanted to go to sle-ep, but I couldn't and I didn't wanna b-bother you, but I didn't know what to do and-"

"Hey, it's okay," Soonyoung interrupts gently. "I'm really happy you texted me, it's okay for you to text me when you're feeling bad. Do that every time, okay?"

Seokmin nods, still a bit reluctant and a lot more shaken.

"Your mom," Soonyoung starts and Seokmin flinches, like he thought Soonyoung won't get back to the topic. Soonyoung smooths out his hair and Seokmin sniffles quietly. "She wants you to be happy. Parents always want their kids to be happy. I mean, there are some parents that don't care, but I'm talking about those who love their kids. Your mom loves you and she wants you to be happy, and even if you don't pass, which won't happen, she's not gonna stop loving you. Okay?"

Seokmin nods, but opens his mouth to say something stupid again, and Soonyoung covers it with the hand that's still in front of Seokmin's face.

"You're gonna pass," he says firmly. "And even if you don't, it's gonna be fine. We'll figure something out. Listen," Soonyoung sighs again. "It might sound weird coming from me, but there is a moment in life when you realize that it's your life. Not your mom's, not anyone else's. So if you're not happy, then what's the point? You should want you to be happy first and then worry about others. Your mom will be okay with whatever you decide, because she's awesome, so it's all up to you. Do you want to pass?"

Seokmin nods again, a bit calmer already.

"Then you just have to get your shit together and pass," Soonyoung says, like it's so simple, like he didn't work himself up over one of his final choreography evaluations to the point of collapsing. "It's all up to you. I'm just gonna be there to force-feed you, if necessary, or maybe kick your ass to make you study."

Seokmin is crying, but it's still better than almost hyperventilating. Soonyoung doesn't say anything else, just pets him quietly until he calms down.

"Thanks, hyung," Seokmin mumbles finally, his voice a wreck and body still jerking with sudden sobs from time to time.

"Anytime," Soonyoung says, leaning down to kiss his temple.

Seokmin sits up and wipes his face.

"I'll be right back," he says quietly, not looking at Soonyoung and escaping to the bathroom.

Soonyoung just waits. He remembers how embarrassed and pitiful he felt the first time he cried in front of someone other than his mother and Wonwoo. Jeonghan made fun of him for the entire half an hour he'd been holding him and rocking back and forth like you do with a child. Soonyoung thinks it was better than pity and flustered attempts at comfort, anyway.

Seokmin gets back with his face puffy and eyes a bit swollen. Soonyoung reaches out his hand and Seokmin lets him pull them to lie down on the bed. Cuddling with Seokmin has always been one of Soonyoung's favorite things. It's warm and nice, and Seokmin has this habit of drawing circles with his fingers on Soonyoung's back.

"I meant it, you know," Soonyoung whispers into Seokmin's fluffy hair. "Call me when you feel bad. Doesn't matter what time it is. Okay?"

"Okay," Seokmin agrees, soft and melting in Soonyoung's arms.

"Promise?"

"Promise," Seokmin says, leaving a sweet little kiss on Soonyoung's collarbone.

"I'm staying here," Soonyoung informs him sleepily.

"You don't say," Seokmin presses a smile into his skin.

Soonyoung huffs at him, but it's probably something after two in the morning and he doesn't have the strength to do more. Seokmin snuggles into him, warm and content.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm not throwing you out or anything," Mingyu starts, dumping food on Soonyoung's plate. "But do you ever go back to your place, hyung?"

Soonyoung blinks up at him with his mouth already full. Seokmin snickers into his plate.

"I do!" Soonyoung protest indignantly.

"To get clothes?" Mingyu guesses with a raised eyebrow.

Soonyoung angrily shoves another bite into his mouth.

"So what," he grumbles.

Mingyu grins and shrugs, focusing on his own food. Seokmin's feet are trying to cover Soonyoung's and Soonyoung accepts the challenge, doing everything he can to come up on top. Seokmin is smiling into his plate and Soonyoung can't keep his face straight either, and Mingyu just rolls his eyes, because he can't say anything, since he can be much worse with Wonwoo than the two of them are being right now.

"You have any classes today?" Soonyoung asks.

"Yeah," Mingyu and Seokmin answer at the same time.

"Wanna go see a movie later?" Soonyoung offers.

"Sure," Mingyu and Seokmin answer at the same time.

Soonyoung stares at Mingyu and waits.

"Oh," Mingyu says finally.

"We can go on a double date, though," Seokmin suggests immediately, because he's the nicest thing to ever exist on this planet.

"Sure," Soonyoung agrees, although having Wonwoo on his date means the two of them bickering and Wonwoo judging him, while he himself is doing something equally stupid and/or embarrassing.

Mingyu smiles like the sun decided to move permanently into his face, though, so Soonyoung can't take it back. Mingyu is too powerful with his facial expression, just like Seokmin.

So they go to the movies and watch some intellectual, aesthetic one, because Wonwoo picks and they spend the entire way there fighting over his choice until Seokmin gives Soonyoung the Puppy Eyes™, because he wants their date to be cute instead of what Soonyoung's and Wonwoo's interactions always become. Which is arguing about absolutely everything. Mingyu is a sucker for Wonwoo, so he agrees to watch the movie and Seokmin doesn't really care what he's going to watch. Which leaves Soonyoung alone on the side of some awesome movie.

Seokmin grabs his hand once they sit, though, and passes him the whole box of popcorn, and kisses his cheek. Soonyoung can't bring himself to continue sulking after that. Especially that Wonwoo gets so into the movie, he cries, so Soonyoung can make fun of him. And then Seokmin also cries, so Soonyoung can coo at him and pet his hair.

They go for chicken after that and Soonyoung doesn't care Wonwoo snorts at him every time he feeds Seokmin, because Mingyu feeds Wonwoo, too. Wonwoo just can't acknowledge he's stuck in an as disgustingly cute relationship as Soonyoung is in himself. They have beer, and Soonyoung is just a bit tipsy by the time they leave, but it's nothing compared to Mingyu, who is touchy feely on a normal basis, but turns into a whining, clingy monster when he drinks. Soonyoung actually feels kind of bad for Wonwoo, but not enough to leave him alone, so he teases the shit out of him the entire way back; Seokmin is humming happily, glued to his side.

Soonyoung and Wonwoo leave their boyfriends at their room, because Mingyu declares it's been a long time since he stayed with Seokmin alone, and he pouts so adorably, Soonyoung doesn't even try to invite himself.

Wonwoo doesn't mind Soonyoung's clinginess usually and when he's drunk, he's clingy himself, so they walk slowly to their own room with their arms linked.

"It's nice, right?" Soonyoung asks contentedly. "We can both be happy at the same time like this."

"Yeah," Wonwoo sighs, ruffling his hair.

He fixes his glasses and waits for Soonyoung to open the door. Mingyu had been drooling over those glasses for the whole evening.

They barely step over the threshold when Soonyoung's phone rings. Wonwoo sends him a flat look, because Soonyoung is awesome and has Ring Ding Dong as his ringtone. Soonyoung shows him his tongue.

"Yeah?" he speaks to the phone.

"Can I come over for a moment?" Jihoon asks.

Soonyoung sobers up just a bit. Something is wrong.

"Yeah, sure," he makes eye contact with Wonwoo, who is frowning, and mouths that it's Jihoon. "We'll make ramen."

"What's going on?" Wonwoo asks, taking out a pot.

"Call Jun," Soonyoung says, diving into their refrigerator for eggs. "Jihoon sounded really weird."

Wonwoo hums and reaches for his phone. Jihoon appears about ten minutes later. His face is carefully blank. Soonyoung and Wonwoo turn to look at him from their place by the stove.

"Seungcheol confessed to me," Jihoon says without as much as hi.

"What?" Soonyoung and Wonwoo screech at the same time.

Jihoon grimaces slightly and then sighs.

"Just give me food."

"What do you mean just give me food after dropping a bomb like that?!" Soonyoung exclaims.

Jihoon slumps on one of their kitchen stools.

"What did you say to him?" Wonwoo asks, placing the pot with ramen on the table.

Jihoon shrugs.

"I kinda had the same reaction as you two," he admits reluctantly. "And then I just said I need to think and bailed."

"Wow," Soonyoung and Wonwoo mumble at the same time.

The door swings open.

"What'd I miss?" Junhui pants.

"Cheol-hyung confessed to Jihoon!" Soonyoung yells immediately.

"What?" Junhui screeches. "What did you tell him?!"

"He bailed," Wonwoo supplies, ignoring the death glare he receives.

Junhui sits by the table.

"What now?"

Jihoon just kind of shrugs helplessly.

"I mean, do you even like him?" Soonyoung asks carefully.

Jihoon stares at him flatly.

"Of course I like him, he's my best friend."

Soonyoung gasps.

"I thought I was your best friend!"

"You?! What about me?" Junhui exclaims.

"Hold your horses, bitches, I'm obviously the best out of us here," Wonwoo says.

Jihoon snorts.

"Oh, please, you're all delusional."

"Then why are you here, huh?" Soonyoung asks slyly.

"Because I obviously can't go to him!" Jihoon points out.

"Oh," Soonyoung says. "Right."

They eat the ramen in silence.

"Do you even wanna try?" Junhui asks finally.

Jihoon slides down his chair in defeat.

"I don't know. I've never thought about him like that. I mean, yeah, sure, I admit he's awesome and pretty hot, too, but that's it. And I know I'm just gonna fuck it up, because I don't know shit about feelings and relationships."

"You can't say that before anything even started," Soonyoung protests.

He feels angry.

"Fucking things up actually takes effort, you know," Wonwoo throws in faux casually.

He's pissed, too. Junhui just seems sad.

"What if you have to let yourself try to find out that you're capable of not fucking up?" he says quietly.

Jihoon just shakes his head, placing it on his folded arms on the table. Soonyoung's anger evaporates and he feels bitter instead. Wonwoo gets up with a sigh to rummage through their cupboards. Junhui pets gently Jihoon's hair. Jihoon doesn't tell him to fuck off, which is a sign in and out of itself that something is seriously wrong. Soonyoung wants to cuddle him, but that would probably be crossing the line.

Wonwoo puts a bottle of wine on the table. Junhui raises an eyebrow. Wonwoo rolls his eyes and gets another one.

The night ends like this:

Wonwoo starts a monologue about how beautiful life is, trying to convince them they're all perfect and if someone is supposed to fuck something up, it's him.

Jihoon gets irritated and punches him, and then hugs him.

Junhui cries, because he wants everyone to be happy and Jihoon obviously isn’t happy.

Soonyoung lies him down in his own bed and decides to fuck it all, because he feels useless, so he lies down right next to Junhui.

"You're not useless," Jihoon says quietly, sitting down on Wonwoo's bed. "God, I hate getting sad-drunk," he groans right after, burying his face in his hands.

"Me too," Soonyoung slurs. The world is spinning a bit. Junhui snuggles to his side, asleep. "And I'm also pissed. I can't give you even the worst of advice."

"Yeah, you're usually good at those," Jihoon snorts.

"Right?" Soonyoung says. He wants to ask where Wonwoo is, but remembers he's in the shower. "And now I ain't got shit. It sucks."

"Yeah," Jihoon mumbles. "Still, it helped that I came here. Only remotely, though."

"Careful or you might get emotional," Soonyoung pretends to shudder.

Jihoon attempts a slap to his arm and almost falls to the floor. Soonyoung cackles at him.

"At least brush your teeth," Wonwoo says, magically back in the room. "Y'all even have your toothbrushes here. I'm not gonna let you stay in my bed, if your breath stinks."

The corner of his mouth is angry red from Jihoon’s fist.

"Fuck you," Jihoon grumbles, but gets up to go and brush his teeth, because he's _not a fucking savage_ , or at least that's what Soonyoung understands from his slurred mumbling.

Wonwoo turns off the main light and dries his hair with a towel slowly, getting comfortable in the bed. Soonyoung suddenly remembers something very important and Wonwoo startles at his gasp.

"Wonu, pass me my phone, quickly!"

"What? Are you nuts, I already lied down," Wonwoo mutters, glaring at him begrudgingly.

"Please?" Soonyoung bats his eyelashes. "I can't exactly move now."

Wonwoo eyes Junhui buried in Soonyoung's chest and sighs heavily.

"What do you even need it for?" he asks once he finds it somewhere Soonyoung wouldn't even know to look and passes it to him.

"Goodnight text to Seokmin," Soonyoung says, distracted by forming the message.

"Are you fucking serious," Wonwoo growls. "And I got up for this? You owe me breakfast, Kwon Soonyoung."

"It was only passing me my phone, Satan!" Soonyoung protests.

"I'm the one making breakfast for us all the time anyway," Wonwoo reasons. "You could do it at least once."

Soonyoung can't argue with that logic, so he just mutters a fuck you and focuses back on the text.

Seokmin responds with two rows of glittery hearts and smiley faces, so Soonyoung guesses he and Mingyu are still up and probably talking.

**To: Minnie**

**go to sleep honey it's fcking late**

**From: Minnie**

**can't we're in teh middle of bff talk**

**From: Minnie**

**minghaos here too**

**From: Minnie**

**wiat did u just callm e honey omg**

After that there are another three rows full of sparkly emoticons and exclamation points, and Soonyoung's heart swells in his chest.

"You're gross," Jihoon says gravelly, settling in Wonwoo's bed.

"And you're a bit more sober, I see," Soonyoung says cheerfully.

"All you happy people can just go and fuck yourselves," Jihoon grumbles.

"With pleasure," Soonyoung answers with a wide grin.

Jihoon flips him off.

"Can you please go the fuck to sleep," Wonwoo groans.

Soonyoung shows him his tongue and texts Seokmin back that he can call him however Seokmin wants him to, for which he gets another line of hearts.

He can hear Wonwoo murmuring something to Jihoon, but can't understand the words, and maybe that's fine. Wonwoo could always understand Jihoon the best, after all. Well, apart from Seungcheol.

Junhui mumbles something unintelligible in his sleep and Soonyoung shushes him gently.

They can deal with everything tomorrow, he decides, getting more comfortable. Sleeping next to Junhui is different than sleeping next to Seokmin, but it's still warm and nice, and Soonyoung drifts off, putting the thoughts about Jihoon's drama away for now.

***

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Soonyoung asks, doodling on his assignment sheet instead of doing actual work.

Seokmin turns to look at him from his place on the couch. Soonyoung thought he's been watching a drama, but judging by the dazed gaze, he must have been just staring mindlessly.

"Hm?" Seokmin hums questioningly, blinking.

Soonyoung frowns. Now that he looks closer, Seokmin seems tired and his skin is strangely pale.

"I was asking, if you wanna go for a walk," he repeats slowly.

"Oh," Seokmin smiles weakly. "Yeah, sure."

"We're not going," Soonyoung says. "You don't look so good. How are you feeling?"

Seokmin shrugs, sprawling on the couch more comfortably.

"I guess my muscles hurt a bit. I'm just tired, though."

"Still, it'd probably be better, if we stayed in. Just rest for now, I'll get you a blanket."

"I'm fine," Seokmin protests with a sweet smile.

"And I'm supposed to be studying, don't you think bringing you a blanket is more important than that? I mean, come on, everything is more important than studying right now. Just let me take care of you."

Seokmin stares at him for a moment, unreadable.

"Okay," he whispers finally.

Soonyoung jumps up and tugs him in, bringing a few pillows over from the bedroom, too. Seokmin smiles at him again, sleepy and beautiful, and Soonyoung leans in to leave a kiss on his nose.

"Hyung," Seokmin starts, watching him fondly. He looks like a burrito. "You're gonna be here, right?"

"Honey, I'm gonna be here until Mingu throws me out," Soonyoung says with a grin.

Seokmin grins back.

It's a slow afternoon, the air warm and drowsy. Soonyoung finishes his assignment out of boredom and then watches Seokmin's sleeping face until he feels too creepy, and then he makes soup from a bag and adds some rice.

"Hyung," Seokmin says when Soonyoung just about gets into the drama that is playing.

"Yeah? Feeling better?"

"Yeah, I think," Seokmin says and stretches.

Soonyoung stands up to get him food.

"Wanna play Scrabble?" Seokmin asks when he's done eating.

That's how Soonyoung ends up with too many z's and growing frustration.

"That's not a word!" he insists.

Seokmin blinks at him slowly. His face is a bit flushed now.

"It's not?" he asks innocently, but Soonyoung isn't going to fall for that.

"No, it's not, and you know it!" he hisses.

The door opens and Mingyu enters the room in the middle of a sentence.

"...so you can't seriously think he's the best!"

"Of course I can," Wonwoo disagrees instantly. "What do you even know, I was the one who got you into it in the first place."

"I can read just as good as you!" Mingyu protests.

"As well," Wonwoo corrects automatically and Soonyoung thinks that's his man, right there.

Mingyu just throws up his hands in exasperation and gives it up.

"Hey, Wonu!" Soonyoung calls.

"Yeah?" Wonwoo walks over to them, looking curiously at the board.

"Tell him it's not a word, please," Soonyoung whines, gesturing at what he assumes was an attempt to get three extra points.

"Hyung, come on, just let it slide this one time, okay?" Seokmin whines right back.

"It could be a word," Wonwoo says.

Soonyoung gasps.

"Why aren't you on my side?! Forget it, why aren't you on the words' side? You're the worst nerd about being grammatically correct!"

"Come on, Soonyoung-ah, he's sick," Wonwoo sighs, like that time he was left with Mingyu's little cousin for five minutes and took it upon himself to educate her about Spiderman.

She wasn't very eager.

"Yeah, hyung, I'm sick," Seokmin picks up right away.

"You were the one who wanted to play!" Soonyoung protests.

"Since when are you so hell bent on playing by the rules?" Mingyu asks from the kitchen.

Soonyoung opens his mouth to argue, but then just stays like that, because Mingyu is right.

"I'm turning into Jeon Wonwoo, oh my God," he mumbles.

Wonwoo smacks him upside the head.

"You can put this and this here," he tells Seokmin, pointing at his letters, and Soonyoung can't believe this disrespect.

"Oh!" Seokmin exclaims.

He looks so excited and pleased that he got Wonwoo to help him, Soonyoung can't even be mad at him for ruining the game.

"Sorry," Seokmin says a few minutes later, when Wonwoo joins Mingyu in the kitchen to most likely help him, but they end up bickering anyway.

Soonyoung looks up and Seokmin has a weird smile on his face. Soonyoung knows this smile and his stomach churns right away.

"Why?" he asks carefully.

"I wanted to hang out and do fun stuff, but I can't think clearly enough even for a stupid game-"

"Lee Seokmin," Soonyoung cuts in and Seokmin shuts up. "First of all, this is one of the smart games. Second of all, you don't feel well and I don't expect you to entertain me at all times, because no one can feel well always, it's not physically possible. We can just do nothing and I'd be perfectly fine with that. Okay?"

Seokmin's eyes are shining sickly, but they're soft.

"Okay," he agrees quietly.

"You should sleep it off, Minnie," Soonyoung says gently.

"But-" Seokmin starts and doesn't finish, biting his lip.

"But what?" Soonyoung prompts.

"Are you gonna stay?" Seokmin raises his eyebrows in an expression full of carefulness and uncertainty. "I mean, you probably shouldn't, what if you get sick, you have that evaluation in a week."

"I'll stay," Soonyoung interrupts him quickly, before it turns into a full blown ramble. "I'm not going anywhere, you dumbass, calm down."

Seokmin nods.

"Food, losers!" Mingyu calls over from the kitchen.

Soonyoung pulls Seokmin to his feet and doesn't care Wonwoo rolls his eyes, when they do what they usually do while eating, which is feed each other. Seokmin doesn't seem to feel well enough to keep his chopsticks steady, though, so Soonyoung feeds them both.

"You have plans?" he asks when he's shooed off to wash the dishes with Wonwoo.

Wonwoo grunts noncommittally, putting away the plates to dry.

"We were supposed to watch a movie, but it's based on a book, so Jeon Wonwoo is... reluctant," Mingyu supplies, appearing next to them to search for something in the cupboard.

Soonyoung snorts.

"Reluctant my ass," he says. "He's been bitching about it, hasn't he."

"Shut up," Wonwoo growls. "It's not my fault I don't even like the main character in the book. In a movie it's gonna be a disaster."

"Or," Mingyu says, throwing him a look that Soonyoung learned isn't much, but means Mingyu is seriously upset. "You could go to the movies with me and watch me have fun, because I happen to like the main character, and then make out with me when I inevitably focus on you and your grumpiness. And then bitch about the movie as we go back, because I wouldn't mind."

Wonwoo's mouth opens and stays like that. Soonyoung sniggers at him.

"But if you don't want to so badly, I guess we can stay here and you can have me mad and sad for the evening," Mingyu continues and closes the cupboard with some cold medicine in hand.

"Smad," Soonyung nods solemnly and nudges Wonwoo, who's just been standing frozen for a while.

"No, wait," Wonwoo says quickly, clearing his throat.

Mingyu arches an eyebrow, waiting ostentatiously.

"I can watch you have fun," Wonwoo continues, clearly uncomfortable.

"And...?" Mingyu prompts.

Wonwoo glowers at the floor.

"And I'm sorry."

"Good," Mingyu grins and it's like the sun just came back out.

Soonyoung is impressed.

"Wow, you've been training him," he remarks with awe.

"I'm not a dog," Wonwoo grumbles, turning back to the sink.

"That's true," Mingyu agrees, winking at Soonyoung. "He's more of an outgrown cat."

Wonwoo hisses at him, but doesn't argue.

"Still, getting Jeon Wonwoo to say sorry like this is an achievement of the century," Soonyoung pats Mingyu's shoulder. "Congrats."

"Thanks," Mingyu grins blindingly and Soonyoung can see Wonwoo glance at him and melt a little despite his frown.

Well, having Mingyu as close as Wonwoo does, it's not exactly a surprise that he's so affected by his smile. Mingyu's face is just unfair, Soonyoung decides.

"What? What achievement?" Seokmin asks from the door.

He looks considerably worse than ten minutes ago.

"I just put you to bed, what are you doing back here," Mingyu groans.

"I was lonely," Seokmin admits, leaning heavily on the doorframe. Soonyoung's chest tightens. "And you were making fun of Wonwoo-hyung. Why am I the only one who can't?"

"Why does anyone have to make fun of Wonwoo?" Wonwoo mutters.

"Because we like that," Soonyoung tells him with a shrug. "But you are going to sleep right now," he turns to Seokmin.

"Give him this and this," Mingyu passes him the medicine. "And a lot of warm fluids. And I'm gonna drag Wonwoo-hyung to see the movie he really doesn't want to see."

"Great. Everyone has plans," Soonyoung says.

Wonwoo just sighs and goes to put on shoes.

Seokmin feels like a heater, bit Soonyoung can't bear to live him alone in the bed.

"What if you get sick," Seokmin repeats, shivering under the blankets.

"I won't," Soonyoung tells him decisively. "You have a fever, I can't just leave you."

Seokmin sighs in relief as soon as Soonyoung puts a wet towel on his forehead.

"We can play Scrabble anytime, Minnie," Soonyoung continues softly. "Just let me cuddle with you for now."

Seokmin smiles, eyes sparkling, and pushes his nose into Soonyoung's neck.

"I love you," he mutters.

Soonyoung can feel his chest swell with emotion, can hear blood pounding in his ears and he guesses that Seokmin was right.

"I love you, too," he says, running his hand through Seokmin's sweaty hair. "Which means that I must like-like you. How did you even know?"

They had this conversation ages ago, but Seokmin must remember, because he chuckles softly.

"You're not the most subtle, you know. No one can kiss like that without meaning."

Soonyoung scoffs, but he knows his face must be as red as Seokmin's right now.

"You're just a good person to kiss," he says begrudgingly.

"Whatever you say, hyung," Seokmin mumbles, fingers tightening in Soonyoung's shirt.

Soonyoung doesn't even argue, because he's busy being amazed at how fast his heart is beating.

***

"Well, this is some news," Jeonghan decides, taking a sip of his wine with raised eyebrows.

Jisoo nudges his side, leaning forward with wide eyes.

"How does it work, though?" he asks curiously, with a bit of concern. "I mean, we've all more or less known that these two are going to end up together," he gestures to Wonwoo and Mingyu. "And these two are just too cute," he points to Soonyoung and Seokmin now, and Soonyoung couldn't agree more. "Is it going to be okay for you?"

Jihoon shrugs. He looks even smaller than usually, uncertain and timid, but Soonyoung thinks he also might be hopeful, even if just a little.

Seungcheol glances at him and holds his hand, ignoring the startled flinch. His grin is confident and a bit manic, like he's prepared himself for everything.

But to Soonyoung's and probably everyone else's surprise, it's Jihoon who speaks up.

"We're gonna have to find out, I guess," he glances at Junhui with the tiniest of smiles. "Maybe just trying isn't all that bad."

Junhui squeals and hugs Minghao in his excitement, which as expected is met with a grimace and being pushed away. 

"Uwah," Chan mumbles, still a bit stunned. "Must be nice. I want a girlfriend, too."

"What do you mean a girlfriend, you're like, nine years old!" Jeonghan protests immediately.

"Twenty, thank you very much," Chan says, arching an eyebrow.

"You can get one anytime!" Soonyoung encourages immediately.

"Yeah," Hansol chimes in. "That one chick from English class has been checking you out for some time now."

"Really?" Chan asks excitedly.

"Vernon!" Jeonghan hisses.

"What? I'm just trying to help a bro out," Hansol defends with a grin.

"You're in that class only because you couldn't be bothered to show up at all last year, genius," Seungkwan pipes up. "The fact you're good at English doesn't mean you can just ignore your classes!"

"Why is it suddenly this again?" Hansol asks in confusion. "I thought we were talking relationships."

"You just reminded me, I still can't get over your stupidity," Seungkwan huffs haughtily, waving his hand in a dramatic gesture.

"Kids, this is about Cheol and Jihoon," Jeonghan reminds them like he's talking to actual five year olds. "Jihoon-ah," he turns to the guy in question. "Trying seems good for you, but what about Seungcheol?"

"I'm fine," Seungcheol says quickly.

Soonyoung notices they're still holding hands. Seokmin is playing with the hem of his sweater.

"Will you be able to stay friends, if it doesn't work out, though?" Wonwoo asks. "It would suck to have to pick a side."

"Hyung!" Mingyu admonishes, but Wonwoo just shrugs.

"Kids, we talked about this, Jihoon and I," Seungcheol says patiently. "About every possibility. It's gonna be fine. Right?"

Jihoon blinks at him, as if Seungcheol just woke him up from a distressed nap.

"Right," he nods jerkily. "Even if it's not fine, it's probably gonna be my fault, so- ah!"

Seungcheol is staring at him with a _what did I say about this?_ face and Jihoon just massages his hand begrudgingly where it was pinched.

It looks like it might be tough on them both, but Soonyoung thinks that's probably always the case when you start being with someone, depending on them and taking them under consideration in your everyday life. It might also be good for both of them, for Jihoon's personal problems and for Seungcheol's need to fix everything wrong in this world. It's not a bad match, just a little odd one. It's going to take time for all of them to get used to it.

"We'll be fine," Seungcheol repeats with a sense of finality.

Soonyoung glances at Wonwoo and Mingyu, who are already bickering in hushed voices with heads close to one another. He looks over at Jeonghan with his wine and exasperation, and at Jisoo with his concern and curiosity. He turns to Minghao and Junhui, who sit in each other's laps just to snap at each other in Cantonese. Then there is Seungkwan with his dramatics and so much kindness, and Hansol with probably too much chill and plenty of support for all of them. Soonyoung moves his gaze to Chan, who is currently arguing with Jeonghan, young and full of energy, and so cute, but strong when it counts. He glances at Jihoon, who looks like he lost some of the things weighing him down, as if Seungcheol's hand clasped tightly in his own helps him sit straight, makes him feel lighter. Seungcheol is vibrant and bright, calm and sure. Soonyoung turns to where Seokmin's fingers are toying with his sweater and grabs them delicately. Seokmin looks up at him in surprise, but then his eyes disappear in a smile.

Soonyoung thinks that this is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading  
> kudos and comments much appreciated!
> 
> (also, i could probably write additional chapter with smut, so if anyone wants, let me know)


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